That Someone...

I had been thinking lately, what about the person that was the closest to me, who knew me inside out, who I could trust with all my heart and knowing that that person will be there for me no matter what. It was a bond not many has or had, it was the most special relationship anyone could ever have.

Although I've tried moving on, I will somehow be reminded of that person by the smallest detail anyone can ever notice, like how someone smiles, how someone talks, how someone carries them-self, how that colour is that someones favourite, how the silly mistakes that someone make and the fact that I knew this someone till the very core of their soul. I was there for this someone no matter what, day or night, it doesn't matter cause I'll be there.

There was a point where I actually thought of having a life with this someone and by saying that, it is obvious that this someone is a 'her'. The thought of being with her and starting something that is worth more than everything, I was afraid that I might lose her. I didn't want to do anything to ruin our relationship.

To think of it, she's the only person I never lied to and like I said, we knew each other to the core. I know her every weakness, her strength, her favourites, her dislikes well everything bout her. I understood her well, and I didn't judge her of her past and that was what made me fall in love with her.

When problems occurred during April 2011, I didn't want to see her get hurt anymore so I left it there and continued with my life. Realizing day by day, I couldn't live without her. Even when I tried getting to know other people and tried moving on, I just couldn't do it. Everything another girl does reminds me of her.

The most hurtful part of all this is that now she doesn't even call or text or even think I exist. It hurts like no words can express. I miss her like crazy and all the time spent and things we did together, I'll still love her. I will wait if that's what it takes.

Only two people of my friends knows what and who I'm actually talking bout.

Usher ft David Guetta - Without you


I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I
Without you


Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged

Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you

I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you

We are all just in it for the ride...

After going through weeks of waiting and thinking that the person will really realize what whats life all about. I give up, now I realize that I can't force anyone to do anything even if it's for the best for them. If they have made up their mind to continue living in ruins, so be it. I've got loads more to worry about in my life, what was I thinking of getting involved with other's!

Studies is the first priority for me, and I should concentrate on it and get a job first before I get serious with anyone. Its like what my friend once said, "You've to take care of yourself then others" and that's exactly what I am going to do.

Now that i'm alone at my apartment since my bud went off outstation for his studies, I was out on the balcony every night with my Carlsberg, Marlboro and some good music kept me thinking of what I really want to do with my life. Well for the time being, let me just focus on my studies and get a proper job then the real thinking comes to play.