That Someone...

I had been thinking lately, what about the person that was the closest to me, who knew me inside out, who I could trust with all my heart and knowing that that person will be there for me no matter what. It was a bond not many has or had, it was the most special relationship anyone could ever have.

Although I've tried moving on, I will somehow be reminded of that person by the smallest detail anyone can ever notice, like how someone smiles, how someone talks, how someone carries them-self, how that colour is that someones favourite, how the silly mistakes that someone make and the fact that I knew this someone till the very core of their soul. I was there for this someone no matter what, day or night, it doesn't matter cause I'll be there.

There was a point where I actually thought of having a life with this someone and by saying that, it is obvious that this someone is a 'her'. The thought of being with her and starting something that is worth more than everything, I was afraid that I might lose her. I didn't want to do anything to ruin our relationship.

To think of it, she's the only person I never lied to and like I said, we knew each other to the core. I know her every weakness, her strength, her favourites, her dislikes well everything bout her. I understood her well, and I didn't judge her of her past and that was what made me fall in love with her.

When problems occurred during April 2011, I didn't want to see her get hurt anymore so I left it there and continued with my life. Realizing day by day, I couldn't live without her. Even when I tried getting to know other people and tried moving on, I just couldn't do it. Everything another girl does reminds me of her.

The most hurtful part of all this is that now she doesn't even call or text or even think I exist. It hurts like no words can express. I miss her like crazy and all the time spent and things we did together, I'll still love her. I will wait if that's what it takes.

Only two people of my friends knows what and who I'm actually talking bout.

Usher ft David Guetta - Without you


I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I
Without you


Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged

Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you

I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you

We are all just in it for the ride...

After going through weeks of waiting and thinking that the person will really realize what whats life all about. I give up, now I realize that I can't force anyone to do anything even if it's for the best for them. If they have made up their mind to continue living in ruins, so be it. I've got loads more to worry about in my life, what was I thinking of getting involved with other's!

Studies is the first priority for me, and I should concentrate on it and get a job first before I get serious with anyone. Its like what my friend once said, "You've to take care of yourself then others" and that's exactly what I am going to do.

Now that i'm alone at my apartment since my bud went off outstation for his studies, I was out on the balcony every night with my Carlsberg, Marlboro and some good music kept me thinking of what I really want to do with my life. Well for the time being, let me just focus on my studies and get a proper job then the real thinking comes to play.

It could be HER!

In April 2011, I met a girl on Facebook, her name was Vanessa. I never knew her at all or even heard of her before but never knowing at that moment I actually have close friends who were her close friends as well. Again, I didn't know that.

We were internet buddies for some time, until I was interested and asked her for her number. And so I decided to ask her out. I did't know whether she was skeptical or just shy to meet me. So she asked to invite some of our mutual friends along, well now that isn't a date it was a so called hangout with the group.

So on our 'hangout' night, I picked her up first among the friends and I was eager to see her for the first time. I was waiting outside her sister's house and she came out, and I was like "She ain't all that", but I was still interested in getting to know her.

The night passed quickly, you know what they say "Time flies when you're having fun". I really liked her, the first impression of her I got was that, she's a strong heart-ed girl, she stands her ground, she's fun to be with and the best part is about her hair which she is loves and boast about. I've got to admit, she really has beautiful hair. Then I started texting her alot, calling her and talking for hours and sometimes not even hours. I was getting to know her more and more until I started having feelings for her which I didn't realise until later on.

I was in my 3rd semester of my studies at that time, so every weekend I'll go back to my home town and try my best to get my dad's car and take her out. I was going out with her for sometime and I remember that one moment where I felt it, the love that I had for her. We were walking side by side, our hands touched each others and naturally we were holding hands and playing with our fingers. That moment, I only felt her hands and nothing else, suddenly everything else wasn't the matter to me. It was just me and her. Although it wasn't for so long, that few minutes said it all, that I was truly feeling something for her, feeling love.

Her birthday was nearing, I actually wanted to take her out for a special dinner or something romantic and tell her how I feel. Her birthday was on a Wednesday, but I was busy with college that week. I decided to take her out on the weekend. And so on Tuesday night, the night before her birthday I called her wishing her and telling her the plans for the weekend. She didn't want to trouble me and said "there's no need to trouble yourself and take me out to dinner". I thought of surprising her when I see her.

The day after her birthday, it was terrible. I met with an accident where I can say I almost died. It was a motorcycle accident, I was on the way to college when it happen. A car emergency brake and I rode straight into the car, the next thing I knew was that I was on the ground barely moving. I couldn't move my leg as it turns out, I broke my right femur(thigh bone) and it is known to be the biggest and strongest bone in the body. I was in the hospital for 11 days and while in the hospital I told her that I met with an accident and I broke my leg.

When I got discharged, I was staying at my mums. I texted her most of the time, we were quite close I can say. I totally forgot that I was supposed to tell her how i felt for her. I regret that because after a month or so she texted me that she has a boyfriend. She said, "He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes". I was broken into pieces, I couldn't take it so I called up my close 'brother from another mother' and asked him, "what should I do?" He said, "Tell her how you feel, Let her know the truth before its too late". I was hesitating at first, then I picked up the phone and dialed her number. She answered, and I was asking her how is she and that is everything fine?. She sounded the happiest I've ever heard her talk before and I didn't want to ruin that for her cause I love seeing her happy. At the same time, it was tearing me to pieces.

I left it there, and we were just friends but still close. After sometime I met her best friend Kriz, she told me that when she saw me with Vanessa, she saw a connection and that I looked at Vanessa differently. Even I didn't realise that deep down inside of me, I still love her. And now I'm feeling all the feeling I used to feel, especially missing her. I let the chance of telling her how I feel go, it's better late then never. I am going to tell Vanessa how I feel towards her whether she accepts me or not. I have to do this to know whether she is the one.

A special thanks to Kriz and Sundra for making me realise. Love you guys too :)

2 years later...

Its been awhile since the last post, I actually forgot about the whole blogging thing. After going through the internet a few times, a link crossed my eyes. So clicked it, and it was the blog of the so called DJ ScaZ. Yeah, I named myself Scaz awhile back because you see, my old name, during the younger years or my actual name starts with an 'S', so i decided to invert Zac(short for zachary) to 'caz' and add the 'S' at the front, so yeah, there's where I got the name Scaz from.

Well, I have lots to tell about the 2 years that had passed. It involves losing friends, gaining new friends, family, college, and much more smaller details.

I thought of writing blogs again, and yeah sometimes I don't feel comfortable sharing with my friends although they're very close to me and also I don't want to trouble them especially when they have their own problems.

Look forward for the next post and I'll tell you everything :)

My Soon To-Be College

The Recording Connection Audio Institute

Since i am sure in doing Music Producing Course in the college above, I'll definately be leaving to the U.S in like 3 years or so...
I am so exited to join this Institute...If u wanna noe more bout this institute,
then check out this website

http://www.recordingconnection.com

Big Fat Liar!!!!!!

Last night, my dad went out leaving me alone in the house 4 a few hours, so i decide to go out dinner with some friends... i noe my dad wouldn't let me coz the last few times i went out i came back pretty late...so i lied to my dad n told him i was going out with my mum...but i told my mom the truth bout goin to dinner with my friends...den unfortunatey my dad called me and ask me whether i had my dinner with my mom, when actually he had passed by my moms car on the road, and he called juz t see whether i lied...so i said "ya, i had"...and suddenly he raised his voice and said "Dont Lie To Me", Coz he called my sis who was with my mum n asked her whether i am with dem...and she said no, i was with my frenz... I said to myself "DiE LarH"...So i went home round 10.30 n ask my friend/neighbour who SLEPT with me the other day to hang with me outside awhile....i was out side the house for 1 hour...i walked into my house and straight walk up to my room...he didn't say anything...So i locked myself up in my room.. untill now, i am chatting with 4 gurls online...juz forget it larh...in 2, 3 days time everyone will forget it...so wy bother posting it...AAARRHHH!!!! nevermind largh...

Bed Time Stories!!! :'(

A few days ago, my friend wanted to download 'DoTA' frm my laptop to his...so dat nite he decided to sleep over in my house, in my bed to be exact... i didn't feel comfortable at all, sleeping with a guy in one bed...so i put some pillows in between us...so we wont touch each other or anything to happen at nite...But No!!! he was all over the bed up-side-down-around-over-everywhere....i could feel the goosebumps around my neck...AARRRHHH!!!!! that wasn't a pleasant experience and i'll never foget that...

Crush to Nightmare...

My sis first Saree but not my first Jeepa...

Last saturday we, my mum, sis, and me went for a wedding... Our 2nd cousin was getting married, the seating were separated by the groom's and bride's side... After all people was in the hall, i saw a couple of my tuition mates whom one of them, i've got a crush on... Turns out, we're related coz we're seating at the family table... my heart melted on the spot... :'(...
bad luck for me...

Primary Pals...

In primary school, some friends that i know until now that is already 10 years of friendship and we're all from S.K. Simpang Lima 1 Klang. Some of us has already moved out of Klang and some of us are still in klang....And these pics are all when we are in primary school...

This is Sean, he is one of us who is still in Klang, he is now 5 ft 10 and taller than me, i'm not happy cuz i use to be much taller than him..lol...and this is how he looks like now...hahaha....Sory sean if u have to see this ...HAHAHA



now i see him self obsessed cuz he thinks he's 'hot'...lol...but he's got alot of girls
after him....

Well, the guy on top is Nabil and the guy below is Arfeezal, nabil and i we're not as close as i was with arfeezal, cuz me n arfeezal will practically sleepover in each other's house for 1 week straight and we use to do alot of stuff together and nabil, i juz went over to his house for few hours kinda thing but we are also good friends...He has moved to KL a few months ago and haven't heard from him since the last i saw him last year....



And his name is Fazil but i like to call him 'orang asing' cuz he was born in India and migrated to malaysia with his family...we are still meeting everyday cuz he is still my classmate, and its amazing to have the same classmate for 10 years straight but not exactly 10 years, in Form 2 he was in a different class, but after that we're back together...He still has his anoying charm until now...lol...but he still my good friend...


Thivyan, he is now in S.T.A.R together with sean and he was my best friend then, Matthew, Thivyan, and Shameer, the three of us was very close at that time and we're called the THREE MUSKETEERS unfortunately Matthew had to move to India in Standard 6 but he's back in Subang now and i don't have Matthew's photo...too bad...Thivyan is now 6 ft 2 and he freakin tall, you have to see him to believe it...




Save the best for last...These two girls in the middle, Christine(right) and Shobana(left), are also good friends of mine...Now both of them are freakin' HOT and i'm lucky to still be their friends...One thing i love bout them is that their really open and we can talk bout anythin with them...Not like some girls, won't even hold hands...lol....but they will if they want to...
Christine was born in Papua New Guinea and is a mixture of that and chinese... when she talks, she'll talk like a 'bullet train' and is damn fast....lol....

Naufal, my baby brother....

My brother naufal is only 2 years and he is already a fan of Man Utd and Liverpool... he can play football quite well at his age..lol...nd he's a real cutiepie...Some of his photos with a cheeky smile on his face:

That's his bed right there, and i couldn't get a racing car bed when i was small..
anyway isn't he cute


Messy baby, he juz discovered powder...HAHAHA...


I don't know what he is doing there, but i know he is up to something naughty...


I think he jumped from the chair to the bed and taught it was fun....

And then there were some BLURR moments..lol...:


Like this one...


I guess he doesn't know what to do for Hari Raya...


He is in another person's house, and there's alot of toys there...

And then there was love at first sight...lol...:



That's not the only girl he's got....

hahahaha...


And his other girl, 'The girl next door'.....

So far, at the age of 3, he already have relationships with 2 girls....

BEST FRIEND!!!

This guy right here is one of my closest friends, Ridzuan, I've known him for more than 4 years and he has been a good friend all this while. Its very hard to find a friend who can be there for you when you need help, or in trouble, to know you well and understands you. Well he has done alot for me and helped me through situations that i couldn't handle myself. So far he is the only close friend that has been loyal to me until now. We both enjoy music and sometimes write lyrics. We can hang out all day, juz the two of us and not get bored cuz we'll do some crazy adventurous stuff together and it will be damn fun... We have done alot of crazy stuff and got into a whole lot a of a trouble...I was planning on an adventurous trip, that i am going to do with him and some of our friends and that is to go to Pulau Redang and stay there for 1 week after SPM...And i can't wait to knock myself out there....

Put on your thinking cap… GO…

man
1.. ------------
board

Ans. = man overboard



Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand
2. ------------
i

Ans. = I understand

OK . .

Got the drift ?

Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?




3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross roads

Not having a good day now, are you ?


Redeem yourself.

5. cycle
cycle
cycle










Ans. = tricycle

Easy to figure out, ha!

0
6. ------------
M.D.
Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !

knee
7. ------------
light

Ans. = neon light

( knee - on - light )

I'm sure you'll have not problem getting this one.

8. ground

---------------------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

Good One, try this!!

9. he's X himself

Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ?!!?

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance ................



12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is very fun- - -

13. abababababababababababababab...

Ans. = long time no 'C'

Glory Glory Man United

Manchester United!!! Best team ever...MU is the greatest team in the BPL and has some of the best players in the world like Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Carlos Tevez, Nemanja Vidic, Edwin Van Der Sar and famous legends like George Best, Sir Bobby Charlton, David Beckham, Ryan Giggs, Ruud van Nistlerooy, Paul Scholes...A team with charisma like this, it is most definately unbeatable...At Old Trafford, MU has won Chelsea by 3-0, Liverpool 3-0(Last Season), Arsenal 4-0(Last Season)...Among the 4 good clubs in the premier league, that is Arsenal, Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool, Man U is still the best...They have won the BPL Championship Cup for the year 1952, 1956, 1957, 1965, 1967, 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2007, 2008...European Champions for the year 1968, 1999, 2008..and for FA Cup for the year 1948, 1963, 1990, 1994, 1996, 1999, 2004...For the Community Shield for the year 1952, 1956, 1957, 1965, 1967, 1990 (shared), 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2007, 2008...Now is that unbeatable or what???...I'm a big fan of MAN UTD and MU is still the best team since 1940...

Rascal Faltts

They're the best band i've ever heard. I love their songs so much and most of their songs means alot to me. They have really meaningful lyrics. They are my favorite band and have my favorite songs. Some of them are Stand, What hurts the most, My wish, Bless the Broken road, Life is a highway, Feels like today, Praying for daylight and there's more. Some of their song are old but they still live in me. hehehehe...

The Mouth Is A Powerful Weapon

From my experience, I've learnt that using the mouth could sometimes be very dangerous coz once i saw my sister fell down the staircase and i heard a 'crack' sound. I thought she might have broken her leg or something but actually she just twisted is badly... i went on telling myself what does it feel like to brake something in our body...day after day, i kept on repeating the words...that was like in august 2008..In November 26, 2009, i had forgotten everything bout the words i kept on confessing...I went out in the evening around 5 to play football on the field, everything was going great when i had a fall in which i fell wrongly and had broken my left hand right in the middle of the wrist and the elbow... The first thing that came to my mind is "so this is how it feels like"...lol...there was a bearable thraubbing pain.. when i got to the hospital the doctor confirmed the injury by a X-Ray...I was shocked to hear that the doctor said i have to undergo surgery to reallign the bone and screw 4 screws to a metal plate onto the bone for support...I didnt think it would be this bad, it was more pressure to my parents coz of the cost of all this 'Trouble'...I feel quite bad and had regretted confessing all those words... I have learnt to use words 'wisely' and not to use it when its not needed...By that, i knew God was teaching me a lesson and I've larnt it painfully....Advice to y'all out there, watch that mouth of yours....